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January 19, 2016
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Free Download , by Robin Stern
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, by Robin Stern
Free Download , by Robin Stern
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Product details
File Size: 2658 KB
Print Length: 290 pages
Publisher: Harmony; Reprint edition (May 1, 2007)
Publication Date: May 1, 2007
Sold by: Random House LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B000QCQ8X0
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#60,845 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
This book was really good for an intro book on gaslighting. It helps use examples to show it in action and help you become aware of the dynamics. Unfortunately my gaslighting is from my mother so I was raised that way. This book focus almost completely on romantic relationships so much of the advice does not apply. She talks about getting back to your previous self and how to do that. Well, what if there is no previous self? What if you grew up developing strategies just to survive it? So other than explaining what it was, unless you're a female being gas lighted by a male in a romantic relationship the "what to do" information isn't very helpful.
I ran across a blog talking about this and I had never heard of it before. After looking at the short paragraph it had about things to look for it chilled me and I decided to get the book. After a couple of chapters it was clear that I'd finally found the answer I'd been searching for to the behavior of someone that I've considered emotionally abusive. I thought this book was excellent and covered the material very well. I highly recommend it.In my case, my gaslighter is not a romantic relationship and is closer to the work relationship. A couple of reviewers have complained that the book focuses too much on romantic relationships. Yes at least two of the main examples are romantic relationships, yet there was one that was consistently used through the book of a boss issue and another of a man with issues from a family member. I think like many books that dig into uncomfortable feelings it is easy to come up with reasons to not continue reading it. So some of those complaints might stem from wanting the gaslighter to change when there is work required from both people. A few reviewers felt that the book wasn't 'strong' enough about emotional abuse. Yes gaslighting is emotional abuse. Yes it is horrible. Yes there are varying degrees of it. But, in order to move past in regardless of the severity, it is going to take some work by the victim to get to a point where they don't just continue to attract them. This book really talks about what it is. Gives examples. Gives exercises. Gives some direction. For some it may be enough to just read and be able to deal with the problem, but for people in Stage 2 and most certainly Stage 3, it is likely that afterwards a therapist may be needed to resolve issues. All in all an excellent book and very helpful for me and my situation. I highly recommend reading it.
A very, very good treatment of this insidious, subtle and tremendously cruel and damaging form of verbal and emotional abuse.It's more than just the title of a movie: Being told repeatedly in small and large ways that your feelings, your perceptions, your memories, your 'everything' is mistaken or wrong or misinterpreted or 'framed' incorrectly will after years and years eventually destroy you. The end result is a person who cannot trust herself, has no self-confidence, and who is increasingly less and less of who she used to be or could have been. Death by a thousand cuts.So here's a book that helps us see how it works. How to recognize it. How to understand the mechanism whereby Gaslilghting ruins a person's inner self. Who tends to engage in it, who tends to 'fall' for it--never seeing it for what it is--and why.Well-written and very straightforward, I really think this book will clarify for anybody what Gaslighting is, and how to avoid or even extricate yourself from a Gaslighter.Highly recommended for anybody who has been verbally or emotionally or physically abused.Highly recommended for anybody who works with abuse victims, loves somebody who has suffered through it or who has any interest in the psychology of how people with disturbed thinking patterns interact, communicate and sometimes manipulate others. Not only helpful, but fascinating as well.
I'm so glad this book is back in print because I kept buying used copies and then giving them away to friends and family. It was a game-changer for me when I thought I was losing my mind because of gaslighting at work. I actually called a friend when I had finished a few chapters and said "Good news! I'm not crazy!" The book explained what was going on in a way I hadn't thought about before, taught me to identify gaslighting, and offered options for dealing with it.If you're exhausted and stressed, you feel terrible about yourself and you can't really pin down why, you're constantly apologizing for mistakes you're not sure you even made, you have interactions where you think somebody must be crazy and you fear it's you, buy this book. It can help start you on the road to health and freedom.
I decided to get this book because Beverly Engel recommended it in "The Emotionally Abusive Relationship," as did an acquaintance.I think this book does a good job of describing the phenomenon of gaslighting, as the author calls it. This is important, because gaslighting is an insidious form of abuse, and the recipient of it may feel confused and not know how to describe what's going on.For me, though, that's where the book's utility ended. Her technique of not engaging the "gaslighter" seems overly simplistic. In practice with my "gaslighter," it makes him think he's right and encourages the behavior further.Also, I found parts of the book repetitive. I believe several paragraphs were literally copied and pasted three or four times throughout the book.
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